


favorite place

by dyintherain



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Small Towns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29087337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyintherain/pseuds/dyintherain
Summary: “What did you wish for?” Doyoung asks him, like he always does, and Taeyong shakes his head softly. “You know it won’t come true if I say it out loud.”(Taeyong wished for Doyoung to come back next year, of course.Like he always does.)
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 21
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tokyoheist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokyoheist/gifts).



> for ree! from [prompt #14 - reasons to leave](https://twitter.com/softfordoyu/status/1355360987373731840?s=21)
> 
> inspired by [Bigcitydreams](https://open.spotify.com/track/30FGIXPjm30vX2KqbrIO2q?si=tYgTSehFT7ilJfwiztA9OA) by Never Shout Never

Doyoung stands with his back to Taeyong—an all too familiar sight. Maybe he should have been used to it by now, but his heart never gets the memo. The ache still feels new every time.

(“ _What do you wanna do when we grow up_?” Taeyong had asked then.

“ _Leave_ ,” Doyoung said, not even sparing it a moment of thought.

“ _Where would you go?_ ”

Doyoung looked back once, grinning at him. “ _Anywhere but here!_ ” he shouted, then ran ahead to the school bus.

Taeyong followed at a normal pace, staring at his retreating back, thinking, even then, that this is a view he better start getting used to.

“ _But anywhere is away from me_ ,” he muttered, taking the seat that Doyoung saved for him in the back row. Doyoung smiled at him but he didn’t hear; he already had his headphones on.)

Doyoung turns and notices Taeyong, flashing him a bright smile. _It gets brighter every year_ , Taeyong thinks. Must be all the freedom and the city lights. 

“Nice suit,” he says as a greeting.

Doyoung looks down at himself with a grimace. “Ugh, I didn’t have time to change. Flew here straight from a business meeting.”

 _Business meeting_ , Taeyong repeats in his head. He stares at Doyoung’s gracefully slicked back hair, his neatly pressed suit and his perfectly straight posture. In the backdrop of their old elementary school’s playground—rusted swings and overgrown grass—Taeyong could understand why Doyoung wouldn’t want to come back.

Yet, here he is.

“Happy birthday, hyung,” Doyoung says, handing him a small paper bag. “Madeleines, from my favorite bakery in the city,” he adds as Taeyong gingerly takes it and peers inside.

“They smell heavenly,” Taeyong sighs out. He takes a deep breath, then forces a smile. “Well, it was nice seeing you, Doie. I’ll uh—I’ll go ahead now.”

He starts to turn but Doyoung catches his wrist. “What? But I just got here.”

Taeyong looks at him. “Oh, I thought—I figured you were busy.”

Doyoung shakes his head, smiling. “I took the day off. Well, half the day. Couldn’t get out of that meeting. But I wouldn’t miss your birthday, hyung. I’ve got an 18-year streak to maintain.”

🥀

“...Flew here straight from a business meeting,” Doyoung says and he immediately wants to smack himself. Did that sound pretentious? The suit itself is already a bit much, but he already cursed himself enough on the way to the airport for forgetting to bring a change of clothes.

He stares at Taeyong and finds him staring back. He’s had years of practice being the subject of that heavy stare but Doyoung still feels off-balance from its weight every time. He holds out the bag of madeleines, muttering happy birthday, holding his breath.

Taeyong smiles, and Doyoung breathes again.

But then— “Well, it was nice seeing you Doie. I’ll uh—I’ll go ahead now.”

Doyoung reaches for his wrist before he could think. “What? But I just got here.”

“Oh, I thought—I figured you were busy.”

He is. He almost winces as he thinks of the pile of paperwork left on his desk, which no doubt will be doubled in size when he comes back tomorrow. But today, he tells himself he’s not. He never is, not if it’s Taeyong.

“...I wouldn’t miss your birthday, hyung. I’ve got an 18-year streak to maintain. Come on, let’s go to Switch Off.”

🥀

They order their usual, and Sungchan doesn’t miss putting a tiny candle on top of Taeyong’s stack of pancakes.

“Wah, he’s grown a lot,” Doyoung observes, eyes growing wide at the high school kid who was just a toddler when they first started regularly going to this diner.

“Yeah, he’s now taller than the two of us,” Taeyong says with a fond smile, looking down at the dripping syrup that he thinks is supposed to spell out ‘hbd’.

His fork is midway through the air when Doyoung stops his hand. “I haven’t sung to you yet,” he says with a pout, and Taeyong can’t help the tiny laugh that slips out of his chest.

Taeyong stares at him throughout the whole song, just because he can, knowing that when it’s over he’ll have to look away again. He blows out the candle, which was never really lit in the first place, but he figures it’s the thought that counts.

“What did you wish for?” Doyoung asks him, like he always does, and Taeyong shakes his head softly. “You know it won’t come true if I say it out loud.”

(Taeyong wished for Doyoung to come back next year, of course.

Like he always does.)

“Hey, Doie?” he says, after a moment. Doyoung looks up, bringing his coffee cup with him. “Hmm?”

“Thanks for coming back this year,” he whispers. 

Doyoung squeezes his hand. Just for a brief second. “I told you I always will, hyung.”

🥀

“I promise I’ll come back every year,” Doyoung said, the night before he left for college. “On your birthday. There, we have a date. I have a 12-year streak to maintain.”

Taeyong tried to smile at him, wiping the tears free falling from his eyes. “You’re only saying that now. But once you get a taste of life in the city, this small town will be nothing but a memory for you.”

“Hyung,” Doyoung said, laughing a little despite everything, “you sound like my mother.”

“Can you blame me?” Taeyong punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Since we were kids, you’ve always wanted to leave. You’ve got like, a million reasons in that list of yours.”

( _Reasons to leave this town,_ Doyoung wrote in his neat cursive. He felt silly, writing it down, but he felt like he had to. If he didn’t—

He paused from writing to look up at Taeyong, lying on his stomach on Doyoung’s bed, brows furrowed in concentration as he worked on his Calculus homework.

—if he didn’t, he’s scared he won’t actually be able to do it.

“ _Reasons to leave this town. Ugh, you’re so lame_ ,” Donghyuck read over his shoulder. 

Doyoung suddenly sat up and hit his brother’s legs with his pad of paper. “ _What are you doing here?_ ”

“ _Mom said dinner’s ready._ ”

Doyoung rolled his eyes as he put away his list.

“ _Reasons to leave this town?_ ” Taeyong asked when Donghyuck left the room.

Doyoung wondered if he only imagined hearing his voice break a little.)

“What was the first one? Ahh, there’s only one grocery store in this whole town,” Taeyong was saying now, in their corner booth at Switch Off.

“I want to have options,” Doyoung replied, shrugging.

“The “library” is simply a small annex of the mayor’s office. Cell signal sucks in the Square, the bakery only sells madeleines when it’s November, which doesn’t even make sense...” Taeyong continued listing off, as Doyoung grinned in shock at how his best friend had seemingly committed his stupid list to memory.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you decide to never step foot here again once you leave,” Taeyong quietly whispered at the end of it.

Doyoung’s grin fell off his face at Taeyong’s somber tone. “Don’t be like that. Of course I will. I always will, hyung.”

🥀

“Thanks for coming back this year,” Taeyong whispers and Doyoung squeezes his hand. 

“I told you I always will, hyung.”

Maybe one day, when he’s braver and the jukebox in the diner stops playing old love songs that traps the words in his mouth and makes his hands clammy and makes his heart race—

Taeyong stabs his fork through his pancakes, taking a huge chunk that definitely looks like it’s more than a mouthful. The song changes, and Taeyong sharply turns his head to the corner where the jukebox is, mouth dropping in gleeful shock. “It finally has songs from after 2000!” he exclaims, laughing, as the first notes of For Baltimore plays through the speakers.

Maybe then, Doyoung will get to finally say, that no matter how many reasons he can think of to leave this town—

Taeyong’s fork is still up in the air, a tiny bit of syrup dripping down his clothes. “Oh no.”

Doyoung laughs.

—they’ll never hold a candle to the one reason he has for always coming back.


	2. blue crayon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you’re my blue crayon  
> the one i never have enough of  
> the one i use to color my sky
> 
> \- a.r. asher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i wrote this extra scene for my friends, but since it’s gotten longer than originally intended, i figured i’ll post it here too. so, yeah. have some more of pining childhood friends dotae :D

**doyoung’s college graduation**

“ _You’re my blue crayon_ ,” Doyoung reads from the inscription written in Taeyong’s neat cursive on the first page. “ _The one I never have enough of, the one I use to color my sky._ ” 

He sighs as he traces the lines etched into the paper - below it, Taeyong’s name signed with a little smiley, and above it, the book’s title. _I’ll Give You the Sun._

He finally looks up at Taeyong, who’s looking back at him with a hesitant smile. _I’ll give you the sun,_ Doyoung thinks. “This is so sweet, hyung. Thank you,” he says out loud instead.

Taeyong’s smile transforms into a full-on grin. “I’m glad you like it. I just- I saw that quote and thought of you,” he says, then bites his lip. Doyoung inhales sharply, his heart rebelling in its cage, wanting to hope, but his brain not daring to read too much into three simple lines. 

“Yeah?” he whispers, heartbeat loud in his ears. 

But the moment is broken as he’s almost tackled to the ground by a forceful side-hug. 

“ _Doyoung-ah!_ ” someone squeals into his ear. Doyoung turns his head and sees his blocmate Soo-young grinning at him. “Ahh, we finally made it!” 

Doyoung can’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. “Park Soo-young! Congrats,” he says, hugging her back.

“We’re all going to Red Flavor tonight for drinks, come join us, okay?” Soo-young nudges his shoulder. Doyoung opens his mouth to reply, but Soo-young cuts him off. “Hey! I won’t take no for an answer.”

Doyoung clutches his chest in mock regret. “I really can’t.” He turns his head and looks at Taeyong, who’s been quietly observing their exchange. Doyoung smiles and links his arm with him, drawing him closer to his side. “I’m coming home tonight.”

Soo-young groans. “Ugh, _lame_.” She notices Taeyong then widens her eyes, “Not you, I mean! I’m Soo-young, nice to meet you!”

“I’m Taeyong,” he holds out his hand. Soo-young takes it then smiles up at Doyoung. “Ahh, _Taeyong_ ,” she says with a teasing lilt, then turns to look at Taeyong again. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?”

Doyoung grabs Soo-young’s shoulder and turns her around to the quad’s general direction. “I think Seulgi’s looking for you.”

“What? I don’t—”

“Bye!”

“She seems nice,” Taeyong says as soon as Soo-young stumbles away from earshot.

“Yeah,” Doyoung replies distractedly, half of his thoughts racing at what Soo-young was about to say, while the other half’s still stuck on his and Taeyong’s interrupted conversation earlier. “You were saying, hyung?”

Taeyong turns to him slowly, his gaze on something far-off behind Doyoung’s back. “Huh?”

“The… quote… made you think of me?” Doyoung reminds him tentatively. Taeyong clears his throat then looks away again. “Oh, uh… ‘cause, you know, blue is your favorite color, and all. I just thought you’d like it.”

“Oh,” Doyoung breathes out. _Of course._ Of course there’s nothing to it. “Yeah, I—I like it.”

🥀 

When Taeyong was five his mom worked seven days a week and often had to leave him in the neighborhood daycare on weekdays when his sister was at school. It was run by the lovely Mrs. Kim, who had two boys, the youngest almost Taeyong’s age.

The first time he met Doyoung, Taeyong was alone in one corner of the daycare, a stack of coloring books by his side and a box of 48-colors crayola spilled open next to it. Taeyong picked up the first book in the stack and flipped to the first page. It was a drawing of a small stream, scattered with tiny rocks and surrounded by trees. Taeyong took his time getting the colors right and making sure they don’t go past the lines, tongue peeking out from his lips in quiet concentration. But when it was time to color the majority of the page - the sky overhead - the blue crayon was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s blue?” Taeyong muttered to himself, sweeping the crayons across the floor.

“Hyung, are you looking for this?” a small voice said as the tiny blue crayon stick was shoved into his face. Taeyong looked up and saw _him_ \- Mrs. Kim’s youngest son, the one she told him about when his mother first dropped him off.

“I’m Kim Doyoung,” the boy introduced himself, grinning. One of his front teeth was missing. Behind him was the glass window of the daycare, offering a view of their quiet neighborhood and the light blue afternoon sky.

It wasn’t love. Not even close to it. Not yet.

But Taeyong always finds himself looking back to that moment, to that first day when he took the blue crayon from Doyoung’s outstretched hand, to the first page of the coloring book that he filled up with a bright blue sky—

“I’m going to run out of this color,” Taeyong said then, flipping ahead to the next pages and seeing more of the same drawings with trees and grass and flowers, and the sky, always above them.

Doyoung came over to his side and peeked over his shoulder. “Don’t worry hyung, I promise I’ll always give you one when you run out.”

—to Doyoung’s crooked smile and the start of a precious friendship, even though at the time the two of them didn’t have any idea about that yet. Taeyong would look back on all of it and realize that everything was bound to come to this: him, looking at Doyoung in his graduation toga, eighteen years later, smiling with teeth that are no longer crooked, with the same bright blue sky as the backdrop, a picture so similar with that first day, all those years ago.

 _The one I never have enough of,_ Taeyong thinks.

He told himself he’d finally tell Doyoung today. A college graduation seems to be as perfect a time as any, after he failed to do so four years ago when they graduated high school. Back then, Taeyong thought there was no point to it anyway. Doyoung was leaving and soon Taeyong will just be a childhood memory for him. But he came back, year after year on Taeyong’s birthday.

And so he started to hope.

He almost said it, _did_ say it, in fact—muttered the words under his breath as Doyoung talked to his classmate. (“ _Because it’s you, you’re my blue crayon,”_ he desperately wanted to say.) But then he glanced at him again and saw how happy he looked, so in his element, here in a big university, in a big city. In a big world that probably still isn’t big enough for Taeyong to have a place in it.

The graduation ceremony ended late afternoon, and when they make their way to the open parking lot, the sun is already starting to set. Doyoung’s parents are already inside the car, but Doyoung stops Taeyong as he’s about to open the door.

“Hyung, I don’t think I thanked you yet for coming today.”

Taeyong offers him a small smile. “Well, your mom dragged me here so…” He chuckles when he sees Doyoung pout. “I’m kidding. Of course I wouldn’t miss this.”

Doyoung reaches for his hand and squeezes it once. For a moment, he looks like he wants to say something and Taeyong holds his breath. But then Doyoung’s dad is peeking his head out the window and looking at the two of them. “Come on kids, we gotta leave now if we don’t want to get caught in traffic.”

Doyoung just purses his lips and lets go of Taeyong’s hand.

Taeyong looks back up at the sky. Orange hues are starting to fill the canvas now, slowly taking over all the blue.

“I can’t believe our Doyoungie is a college graduate now,” Doyoung’s mom says from the passenger seat as Taeyong finally gets in the car.

“ _Mom_! Don’t get sappy on me now.”

Taeyong just leans his head back and smiles, even though his heart also feels a little heavy. It’s the start of another chapter in Doyoung’s life, and he can’t help but wonder how long he can manage to hold on to its pages. 

He turns to look at Doyoung, then. _The one I use to color my sky._ He’s never told anyone, but he still has that blue crayon stashed in his drawer back home.

For a rainy day, he tells himself. For when his sky inevitably runs out of blue.

**present day**

Yuta taps the top of Doyoung’s cubicle wall two times. Doyoung sighs and reluctantly looks away from his monitor. “Can I help you?”

“Whoa, why so hostile?” Yuta puts his hands up as Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Johnny just closed the Jeong deal so we’re all celebrating tonight. Don’t work overtime.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Doyoung says, rolling his chair back to stretch his legs. “But I also can’t join you guys.”

“Come on!” Yuta groans. “It’s just tonight. And it’s _Friday_.”

“Exactly, I’m flying home for the weekend.”

Yuta pouts, just as Johnny passes by. “Doyoung, see you tonight?”

“He’s not coming,” Yuta answers for him. “He’s ‘flying home for the weekend’.”

“Why’d you put that in air-quotes?” Doyoung frowns, then turns to Johnny. “Congrats on the deal, but I’m really sorry.”

Johnny waves a hand. “It’s fine. You’ve been flying home so often these days though, everything alright?”

“No,” Doyoung says. “I mean, yeah, everything’s fine. It’s nothing like that I just—” The tiny picture frame on the corner of his desk catches his eye and Doyoung bites his lip. Yuta doesn’t miss the gesture.

“Hah, I think I see what’s going on here,” he says then taps Johnny’s chest. “Doyoung’s got a girl at home~” he sing-songs.

Doyoung bursts out laughing. “I _really_ don’t,” he says, eyes straying to the picture frame again.

Yuta narrows his eyes and just then notices the frame half-hidden by Doyoung’s monitor. He steps into Doyoung’s cubicle to look at it more closely before Doyoung can even think to stop him.

“ _Oh_ , I see. My bad,” Yuta says with a teasing smirk.

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “He’s—he’s just my best friend, okay? And it’s his birthday tomorrow, so.”

“Riiight,” Yuta drawls. “I guess I can forgive you for bailing out on us tonight if it’s in the name of _love_.”

Doyoung is about to scoff, say that it’s _really_ nothing like that, but who is he kidding? It’s not like anyone in the office knows Taeyong anyway. So instead he just smiles at Yuta. “Thanks.”

🥀

Doyoung opens his bag, peeks inside nervously at the small box nestled on top of his other things, then closes his bag again. The lady two seats away from him eyes him nervously as he realizes he probably shouldn’t be doing this on an airport.

He takes a deep breath then puffs his cheeks as he exhales it, tapping the armrests of his seat if only to give his hands something to do instead of opening his bag again as he waits for boarding.

 _It’s so stupid_ , his inner voice tells him. But it also feels right. And Doyoung is in the mood to listen to his heart for once.

🥀

Taeyong is already in their corner booth when Doyoung arrives at Switch Off. 

“Hey hyung,” Sungchan greets him as he comes in. Doyoung manages to muster a tiny wave as he makes his way over to his best friend.

When he takes the seat across from Taeyong, he’s hit with the realization that if things don’t go the way he’s hoping to, this might be the last time he’ll ever step foot inside this diner. 

The thought is like a punch to his gut. He looks at Taeyong and realizes that this, too, might be the last time he’ll ever celebrate his birthday with him. Doyoung’s heart races as he remembers every reason he ever had for never confessing what he really feels. Theirs has always been a special friendship, unmatched by any other relationship he has in this world. Is he really about to ruin _that_ just so he can let his heart breathe?

His thoughts are interrupted by Sungchan coming to their table to take their orders.

“The usual,” Taeyong says quickly, not even letting Doyoung say anything.

“I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind,” he says to Doyoung once Sungchan goes back to the counter. Doyoung could have sworn Taeyong sounds just as nervous as he feels. But—he shakes his head. He’s probably just projecting and imagining things.

“Doyoung—” Taeyong starts to say just as Doyoung blurts out, “I have something to tell you!”

“ _Oh_ ,” they say at the same time.

“You first,” Doyoung says, tongue in cheek.

Taeyong takes a deep breath and reaches across the table for Doyoung’s hand. He turns it so that the palm is facing up, then places something and closes Doyoung’s fingers around it. “What—”

“I’m giving it back to you,” Taeyong says in a small voice.

Doyoung opens his hand to see a blue crayon nestled in his palm, the label all faded and worn out. He looks up at Taeyong with furrowed brows and a silent question in his eyes.

Taeyong gulps and looks away from him. “I thought I could hold on to it forever, Doie.”

“Hyung, what’s this?” Doyoung asks even though he knows exactly what it is, the memory from all those years ago playing behind his eyes, the box he moved from his bag to his pocket feeling like it’s burning his skin.

“It’s the crayon from when we were kids, do you remember?” Doyoung doesn’t even get to open his mouth before Taeyong continues. “You probably don’t. But I—I kept it all these years, Doie. That dedication I wrote for you in my graduation gift? I meant every word of it. It sounds so corny but you _are_ my blue crayon. Ever since you left this town, the sky has never been the same.”

“Hyung—”

A single tear falls from Taeyong’s eye. Doyoung doesn’t know what to think, so instead he just reaches out and wipes the tear from Taeyong’s cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong says. “I have to let it go now. I don’t know why I even gave it back to you. I should have just thrown it away, I just—I’ve liked you for _so long_ , Doie and I’ve been holding on to it ever since, hoping that maybe— _god_ , I don’t know what I’m saying, I just—”

“Hyung, can you please shut up!” Doyoung blurts out.

Just then, Sungchan rounds the corner and halts in his steps, one hand balancing the tray containing Taeyong’s pancakes and Doyoung’s cup of coffee. “Uh, I’ll just—I’m uh,” he mutters under his breath as he goes back to the counter again, probably sensing the tension in their table.

“I should have gone first,” Doyoung says under his breath, then takes the box from his pocket. He slides it over to Taeyong, who looks down at it with a frown.

“ _Crayola_?” he says, a bit incredulous.

“Open it,” Doyoung says, shifting in his seat.

Taeyong picks up the box of crayons and does as he’s told. Doyoung bites his lip as he watches his expression go from confused to even more confused.

“It’s… It’s all blue. Wh—?”

This time, it’s Doyoung’s turn to take a deep breath. “Of course I remember that day. And I told you I’ll always give you one when you run out, right? I told you I’ll always come back. I… well, I’ve always liked you too.”

Taeyong’s expression remains confused for a moment—brows knit, mouth in a slight ‘o’—until it clears and he shakes his head, laughing a little.

“ _God_ , we’re so stupid.”

🥀

“Hey, your kid’s in kindergarten right? Do they still do, like, coloring books and shit?”

Johnny looks up at Doyoung. “Huh?”

“I’ve got some extra crayons and I don’t know any children. Do you want it?”

“Doyoung, what?”

Doyoung huffs out an exasperated sigh then lifts the box he’s holding onto Johnny’s desk.

“What the fuck?” Johnny exclaims as he peeks at the box’s content. “Why do you have so many crayola?”

“No questions, do you want them or not? That’s 47 packs in total.”

Johnny is shaking his head, seemingly at a loss for words. “I- I mean? I guess but…”

“Great.”

Doyoung starts to walk away but just then remembers something. “Forgot to mention, they don’t have any blue.”

Johnny blinks at him. “...What?”

Doyoung shrugs, then offers him a sheepish smile. “I’m sure your kid will find another way to color his sky.”

**Author's Note:**

> couldn’t get pining childhood friends dotae out of my head so;;;
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/softfordoyu/status/1355567143253774338?s=19) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/dyintherain)


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